Acceptance

Today, I wanna quote 2 extracts from a particular book. I had actually already blogged them down some time back in some private postings, but I really hope to share what I have learnt with people who care to read my blog :)

From the book, THE ART OF getting along with People by Cecil G. Osborne, D.D:

Gertrude, the youngest of six children, and at thirty-nine still unmarried, had chosen to take care of her aging mother. The other sons and daughters were married and had children of their own, so it seemed the logical thing for her to do. But at forty-one Gertrude decided to marry, Mother, now in poor health and quite elderly, felt threatened by the turn of events. She began to complain of vague but persistent ailments.

Gertrude appealed to her brothers and sisters, asking if they would mind taking mother for at least a few months. They replied with various excuses: they were short of rooms; there were financial problems; Gertrude had no children as yet and was best able to take care for mother. The discussion went on for weeks, in person and by mail. Gertrude’s brothers and sisters presented a united front: it was her responsibility because she was the youngest and had no children.

Gertrude buried her resentment and went on with the wedding plans. Mother refused to attend the wedding, insisting that she was not feeling well. Two sisters attended the wedding, chiefly because they had been asked to be bridesmaids. Relationships were strained.

Gertrude, her mother, and her new husband, Jack, settled down together in a small house, and for a time mother made a fairly valiant effort to be civil. But within a month, she grew critical and began retiring to her room immediately after dinner. She also ate her other meals in her room. Jack began to feel uncomfortable, and Gertrude was becoming depressed from trying to bury her anger.

Jack eventually suggested gently that she call a family conference to see what could be done. Four of her brothers and sisters, and their spouses, elected not to attend. Gertrude then announced that she intended to put her mother in a retirement home.

There was instant recrimination from everyone: “How can you do this to our mother? She’d die in a month in one of those places. After all she’s done for you! Of course, we can’t take her, for reasons you clearly understand; but you, with no children, surely ought to be able to take care of her until the end. . . ” and on and on and on.

Gertrude began to feel guilt on top of her buried anger. Increasingly depressed, she sought counseling.

After hearing the story, the counselor asked, “What are your options?” She could think of none. He pointed out several.

She could let the situation remain as it was and live in her depressed state. Under those circumstances, there was always the possibility that her husband might lose interest and leave her.

Or she could try to reason with her brothers and sisters. “No, that’s out,” she explained. “They’re hopeless. I want nothing to do with them.”

The third alternative was putting her mother in a retirement home. “But they’ll all hate me,” objected Gertrude.

“Do they love you now?”

“They say they do but –”

“But what?”

“They don’t act like it.”

”What do you want: peace of mind and a viable solution, or to hang on to the illusion that your brothers and sisters really care about you?”

The session lasted for another half-hour. Gertrude finally elected to put her mother in a retirement home.

When her mother heard the news, she protested that she wasn’t going. Brothers and sisters and their mates protested that she couldn’t do this to their mother. But Gertrude was adamant.

Mother was put in a retirement home. In a few months, she was feeling much better, running the recreation program and giving devotionals for the women’s Bible class with sufficient energy left over to make life fairly miserable for the staff. When told that she would have to stop stirring things up with her gossip and complaints or leave, she became quite tractable and began to enjoy her new life.

Gertrude and Jack still have impaired relations with her brothers and sisters. But she has learned that it is their problem. She came to see that their resentment stemmed chiefly from their own guilt.

There may never be a happy solution for these impaired relationships. Gertrude treats her siblings politely, refuses to argue, and sends Christmas cards annually. She says, “You can pick your friends, but you inherit your relatives. The door is open if they ever want to make gestures of reconciliation. If they do, it would be wonderful. If not, it isn’t fatal. I am happy in my marriage, and life is good.”

It would be nice if there could always be a happy ending to every story, as in the books and movies. But life isn’t like that. Sometimes there is no perfect solution , and we have to do the best we can and be satisfied with that.

---

When Rational Judgment Is Difficult

Sometimes a person can become so beaten down as to be incapable of making a rational decision.

A young mother whose husband had died reported to me that her husband’s parents had been verbally abusive to her children. The mother was planning to take the children to another state, where she had the promise of a job. Fearful of losing touch with her grandchildren, the grandmother said to one of them, “If you move there, you’ll be dead in six months.” The little boy was terrified and asked, “Mommy, is that true? Will I die?”

There were many other instances of emotional instability on the part of both grandparents. The mother, accordingly, told them that they could not visit her children so long as they were verbally threatening or abusive.

I said, “Under the circumstances you have stated, you were quite within your rights.”

She said, “Oh, thank you! Everyone I’ve talked to has insisted that I am morally bound to let the children visit their grandparents.”

Advice from friends, relatives, and neighbors can confuse an otherwise intelligent person so that he or she loses the capacity for rational judgment.

---

Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love. ~ Marc Chagall

Animal Farm

The librarian called me up yesterday evening and told me that this book has been returned to the shelf. She told me that she could hold on the book for me without any reservation charge but I will need to go down asap to pick the book up.

So I'll be going to the library at about 10am later :)

Hope this would prove to be an engaging read..

遇见你，我更懂我自己

今天，我遇见了……

这本书！

遇见你，我更懂自己。你对我的好，让我知道自己很幸福。你对我不好，让我了解自己原来也可以活得很坚强。我对你的好，让我知道自己很慷慨。我对你不好，让我了解自己原来也有必须保留的吝啬。

无论遇见好人、还是坏人，或是碰到什么样的遭遇，只要认真对待，都会发现更多的自己。但很显然的是，与好的朋友来往，会开阔彼此的生命。和好的情人恋爱，会幸福两人的一生。愿意接受新的挑战，会激发更大的潜能。所以，还是要尽一切的力量，往正面想、朝正面走，孤独的生命，才会因为美好的相遇而有更多的丰收。

- 吴若权

Mars And Venus

Yea... and I am refering to that popular term: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray (funny... why do I keep seeing this name John of late?)

Actually what happened was I went borders yesterday to find a book call "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. I know that it wasn't exactly a new book because it had been published as far back as 10 years ago. However, since it had been a best seller before and is a very good book (imo), I was surprised that Borders did not carry that anymore. Worse still, the staff informed me that they might not ever restock this book. As I somehow sorta overheard this book had been on a clearing book sale for $9.90 (or is it more likely $19.90?), I decided not to make a special order for this book which is gonna cost me about $30 odd bucks. Maybe I'll try other book store next time. Anyway, thru the YouTube Videos i saw of Gavin, they had provided me with enough inkling of what to do and what not to do in the face of danger. A skill I needed critically since I have been kinda living on my own and with people to look out for.

Well back to mah blog title... (haha, you know how it is right? As described by John Gray in his popular Mars Venus Books, a woman tend to release stress thru talking, and touching on several different subjects at one go which seem to have no correlation with each other at all and seemingly to have no focus in her topic, which frustrates a typical male brain to no end. Well, I'm not that bad to guys i think, cos I have quite equal male and female thinking hemispheres for my brain as revealed by a few tests i've taken about that. But nevertheless, the female side of me still requires me to talk it all out as i feel what's coming to mah mind in order for me to feel good about myself. Even though i dun gossip with girlfriends or biatch behind people's backs in real life, i find the need still, to express myself by way of blogging. It is somehow the miraculous tool that help keep me sane throughout a certain difficult period i went thru. Kk, better go back to topic...) Mars and Venus. I used to have 2 books by John Gray regarding the topic of Mars and Venus which I had bought way back in the late 90s. I found what's written on those books to have made a lot of sense. However, in time to come, I also do realized that no book can work miracles when it comes to a relationship if one party does all the work and the other doesn't bother.

So, after I had confirmed that the book I wanted wasn't available for sale, I took to browsing the self-help and psychology part of those book shelves and found the latest book release by John Gray: Mars and Venus Collide. Interesting. As I had limited time left, I quickly thumbed through the book and found 2 quotes which I think are insightful into the world of gender differences and love.

Realistic expectations lead to real love.

Men need to feel needed and women need to feel they are not alone.

What's your take on that? I find em fairly accurate though.

Tuesday

"Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you are in the dark. Even when you're falling."

---

"Mitch, it's funny," he said. "I'm an independent person, so my inclination was to fight all of this - being helped from car, having someone else dress me. I felt a little ashamed, because our culture tells us we should be ashamed if we can't wipe our own behind. But then I figured, Forget what the culture says. I have ignored the culture much of my life. I am not going to be ashamed. What's the big deal?

---

"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'

"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.

"There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car, you don't need the biggest house.

"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?"

What?

"Offering others what you have to give."

---

"Mitch, if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone."

He paused, then looked at me. "I'm dying, right?"

Yes.

"Why do you think it's so important for me to hear other people's problem? Don't I have enough pain and suffering of my own?

"Of course I do. But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look like in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling sad, it's as close to healthy as I ever feel."

---

"Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn"

- Mahatma Gandhi

---

Morrie chuckled. "Maybe. But, Mitch, all this talk that we're doing? Do you ever hear my voice sometimes when you're back home? When you're all alone? Maybe on the plane? Maybe in your car?"

Yes, I admitted.

"Then you will not forget me after I'm gone. Think of my voice and I'll be there."

---

"Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.

" 'My God, this is terrible,' the wave says. 'Look what's going to happen to me!'

"Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, 'Why do you look so sad?'

"The first wave says, 'You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?'

"The second wave says, 'No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean' "

---

Dedicated to all my dearest friends.
From the book "Tuesdays with Morrie".
Author, Mitch Albom.

The importance of communication

How many times have we had these kinds of conversations?

"You said..."
"No, you're wrong! I said..."
"You did not! You never said I was supposed to..."
"Oh, yes I did! I clearly said..."
"You never even mentioned..."
"But that was our agreement..."

The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. Whether we are dealing with the question of who does what at work, how you communicate with your daughter when you tell her to clean her room, or who feeds the fish and takes out the garbage, we can be certain that unclear expectations will lead to misunderstanding, disappointment, and withdrawals of trust.

Many expectations are implicit. They haven't been explicitly stated or announced, but people nevertheless bring them to a particular situation. In marriage, for example, a man and a woman have implicit expectations of each other in their marriage roles. Although these expectations have not been discussed, or sometimes even recognized by the person who has them, fulfilling them makes great deposits in the relationship and violating them makes withdrawals.

That's why it's so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table. People will begin to judge each other through those expectations. And if they feel like their basic expectations have been violated, the reserve of trust is diminished. We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people.

The deposit is to make the expectations clear and explicit in the beginning. This takes a real investment of time and effort up front, but it saves great amounts of time and effort down the road. When expectations are not clear and shared, people begin to become emotionally involved and simple misunderstandings become compounded, turning into personality clashes and communication breakdowns.

Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don't exist and to hope things will work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations.

~ Stephen R Covey; The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

---

I used to think that no argument is good in my relationship and pride myself on that.

And then i discovered that there were so many differences between us, only much much later down the lane...

Come to think of it all now, actually a little argument wldnt hurt and may even facilitate better understanding. Of course the ideal wld be to talk it over calmly and come to a mutual agreement. I used to think that that was what we did very early on in my previous marathon r/s. Then i realized that somehow, due to the novelty of a new relationship, wanting to hang onto it, to make it last, somehow somewhere somewhat, someone must hv been restraining his or her true self just so to placate the other party.

This wld not be the truth i seek.

Not that you hv to practically tear out each other's hair just for the sake of argument to come to the awareness of wat ea other want but effective communication is vital. It does not hv to be quantity communication, it's the quality that counts.

Being too nice (a cool composed front), afraid to communicate wat u need directly to the other person, afraid to receive feedbacks, holding back wat you feel, lack of expressing your care & concern in the way the other party can ustand, all stand in the way of truly understanding & connecting to someone.

This reminds me of this part of an article i've read - 5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER (by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.):

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and
thoughts with this person?

This question goes
to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you
can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication
is trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

There's a quote that i came by, author unknown, talking abt love which i agree very much with:

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is
for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them
more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything
about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling
comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk
into a room and smile at you.

i'm still trying to find my love though. who are you and where are you?

Tissue Seller on 年初二

Bishan:

A typical tissue seller stationed near the entrance of the mrt station cried away, saying to hv pity on the poor old lady on a new year's day! To buy some tissue fr her!
“新年快乐！恭喜发财！可怜我这个老人家，跟我买包tissue吧！” she rambled over & over in a shrilling pitch.

She was shouting so loud that i felt embarrassed to go near her. To say truth, i had actually wanted to get tissue fr her as i was heading towards her, but her yelling made me bypass her without looking her directly in the eyes. I walked on like a typical passer-by till i parrallelled the convenient store CHEERS.

Then i tot, what the heck? If i wanna help her, be it she's crying out loud or wat, does it matter? Y shd i bother abt how other ppl will look at me when it is she that i wanna help?

I opened my purse. I only had a $5 and a $50 note. No $2 note.

So i made a 180 degrees turn and headed over to the lady. I told her, “我要买tissue” and handed her my $5 note. She passed to me the 4 packets of tissue bundled up together with a rubber band. I took the tissue and walked away.

“要找钱吗？”she shouted after my back.

“不用紧。”I told her, and then continued to walk away.

---

Indeed, as described in this book "Awakening a Kind Heart" that i got fr bright hill temple, by Venerable Sangye Khadro, it is not easy to let go of our attachment to reputation:

In most cases of being criticized, our response arises from our attachment to reputation - wanting others to like and respect us. According to the Tibetan masters, this is one of the most difficult attachments to let go of.

There is a story from the tibetan tradition about the Kadampa Geshe Langri Tangpa, author of the Eight Verses, that illustrates how a spiritually mature person is free from such concerns.

Once, a woman who had given birth to a sickly child was told by an
astrologer that in order to save the child's life, she must take it to a
spiritual master and claim it was his. So she brought the child to Langri
Tangpa, who happened to be in the middle of giving a Dharma discourse to a large
number of disciples, and put it on his lap saying: "This is yours."

The Geshe happily accepted the infant and said: "For all my lives you have
been my child."

Seeing this, half of the disciples lost faith in their teacher and walked
out. But Langri Tangpa continued to teach. At the end of the discourse, the
mother presented the Geshe with offerings and apologised to him for what she had
done, explaining that she had been advised to do it in order to save the child's
life. Langri Tangpa calmly handed back the child.

He had maintained equanimity throughout this whole incident, and half of
the disciples who had not walked out experienced even greater faith in their
master.

Langri Tangpa was able to remain calm in this situation because he knew
that he was innocent of any wrong-doing, and because he was not attached to what
others thought of him. He was not concerned about being the '"victor". If we are willing to look honestly at our mind and work on
diminishing our attachment to reputation and praise, then we will also learn to
remain calm in the face of criticism and blame.

3243

妈，我好想你呀。

Took some free books on buddhism yet again

Is it necessary to leave food out for the deceased? What about burning paper money and so forth for them?

Burning paper cars or clothes or money does not give the deceased these things in their future rebirth. It is not necessary to burn all these things. The tradition of doing so is an old Chinese custom, not a practice taught by the Buddha. If we really want to help our relatives and friends to have wealth in their future lives, we should encourage them to make offerings and be generous while they are still alive. The Buddha said generosity is the cause of wealth, not burning paper.

Finally the answer to the question i always had in mind...

Some short extracts fr this book call: "Settling back into the moment" that i wld like to share with you all :)

Usually we eat very unmindfully.

Taste comes and goes very quickly. While food is still in the mouth, because
of desire and greed for continuing taste sensations, the arm reaches for more
and generally we are unaware of the whole process involved

Finish

each mouthful before reaching for another.

In this way we become more sensitive to our bodies and how much food we need.
It's very hard to overeat when you eat mindfully.

People progress in different ways.

But no matter how, if we're facing in the right direction, all we have to do
is keep on walking.

If it takes a year,

or sixty years

or five livetimes,

as long as we're heading

towards LIGHT,

that's all that matters.

Be gentle with

yourself.

Be persevering.

Though it may not

be apparent to you,

there is a

great tranformation

taking place.

Like fruit

ripening on a tree.

As the sun shines

on it, the fruit ripens, although

from one day to the next, the

process may be imperceptible.

In the same way, the

changes and ripening in

our mind are also going on.

PATIENCE


Do not be driven
to action by our
desires.
If we don't have
the ability to be
patient,
every desire
which comes
into our minds
compels us to action
and we stay bound
on the wheel of craving.

Energy
has to be balanced
with tranquillity.

It is as if
you are trying to tune
the strings on a guitar.
If they are too tight
or too loose,
the sound is not right.

Often in forgetfulness
of our destiny, we become
over-involved in collecting
things, in attachments and
possessions, in wanting to
become someone special.

We get involved in
many of the activities of
LITTLE MIND, taking our ambitions,
our desires, ourselves,
very seriously. We lose the
perspective of BIG MIND, we
lose the
perspective of death.

We
are going to die alone.
It's necessary to come
to terms with our
basic
aloneness,
to become comfortable
with it.
The mind can
become
strong and peaceful
in that understanding
making possible
a beautiful communion
with others.

If we take
death as our adviser
we live
each moment
with the
power and fullness
we would give
to our last endeavour
on earth.

有缘千里来相会。

Forgive me mei for using mandarin yet again to express myself. I was born into a Chinese-educated family and i used to peer over my mum's shoulder asking her all the unknown Chinese characters i saw on the newspaper she's reading, used to also sit all day at home catching every possible Chinese drama on the then SBC channel 8 during primary school days (it actually helps improve your command of language be it mandarin or english!), hence to express myself in mandarin at times is a natural, makes me feel more validated cos chinese words come across as 较为含蓄 (when phrased in the right way)，yet at the same time 不失其意。Very me lor~ haha...

And btw, gluten shen mo shen is a deliberate mis-spelling on mah part. So that you know it's me mah! Who else like to eat gluten this muchie?

Penguin, tk you very much for your patience & ustanding. I feel validated. & tks for the episode whereby u took time off fr ya studying. I didnt know u had exams the next day :o Am so touched! You know, sometimes in life, a little means so much! It meant a lot to me as i've told you what it had done for me when i was depressed. It was my outlet then. I know most people out there who's not into it wldnt hv care less to bother to hv a look at all.

Recently, been treating this book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey like a bible. The above event with penguin reminds me of this excerpt where the author dealt with a certain particular difference he found hard to swallow in his wife:~

Another of those difficult times had to do with what I perceived to be a
"hang up" Sandra had which bothered me for years. She seemed to have an
obsession about Frigidaire appliances which I was at an absolute loss to
understand. She would not even consider buying another brand of appliance. Even
when we were just starting out and on a very tight budget, she insisted that we
drive fifty miles to the "big city" where Frigidaire appliances were sold,
simply because no dealer in our small university town carried them at that time.

This was a matter of considerable agitation to me. Fortunately, the
situation came up only when we purchased an appliance. But when it did come up,
it was like a stimulus that triggered off a hot button response. This single
issue seemed to be symbolic of all irrational thinking, and it generated a whole
range of negative feelings within me.

I usually resorted to my
dysfunctional private behavior. I supposed I figured that the only way I could
deal with it was not to deal with it; otherwise, I felt I would lose control and
say things i shouldn't say. There were times when I did slip and say something
negative, and i had to go back and apologise.

What bothered me the most
was not that she like Frigidaire, but that she persisted in making what I
considered utterly illogical and indefensible statements to defend Frigidaire
which had no basis in fact whatsoever. If she had only agreed that her response
was irrational and purely emotional, I think I could have handled it. but her
justification was upsetting.

It was sometime in early spring when the
Frigidaire issue came up. All our prior communication had prepared us. The
ground rules had been deeply established - not to probe and to leave it alone if
it got to be too painful for either or both.

I will never forget the day we talked it through. Sandra and I were amazed at what we learnt through the interaction.

She started to talk about her father, about how he had
worked as a high school history teacher and coach for years, and how, to help
make ends meet, he had gone into the appliance business. During an economic
downturn, he had experienced serious financial difficulties, and the only thing
that enabled him to stay in business during that time was the fact that
Frigidaire would finance his inventory.

Sandra had an unusually deep and
sweet relationship with her father. When he returned home at the end of a very
tiring day, he would lie on the couch, and Sandra would rub his feet and sing to
him. It was a beautiful time they enjoyed together almost daily for years. He
would also open up and talk through his worries and concerns about the business,
and he shared with Sandra his deep appreciation for Frigidaire financing his
inventory so that he could make it through the difficult times.

This
communication between father and daughter had taken place in a spontaneous way
during very natural times, when the most powerful kind of scripting takes place.
During those relaxed times guards are down and all kinds of images and thoughts
are planted deep in the subconscious mind. Perhaps Sandra had forgotten about
all of this until the safety of that year of communication when it could come
out also in very natural and spontaneous ways.

Sandra gained tremendous insight into herself and into the emotional root
of her feelings about Frigidaire. I also gained insight and a whole new level of
respect. I came to realize that Sandra wasn't talking about appliances; she
was talking about her father, and about loyalty - about loyalty to his
needs.

Likewise mei, I believe there are certain tender issues you've been thru. So had I. That we're able to connect in spite of our age gap must hv been the things we went thru before. Y did I only had you as a sis and no others before? This is what i meant by my title “有缘千里来相会”。缘 or otherwise known as fate in English, is what brings people together. What else can explain why people come into contact with certain ppl and not others on the other side of the globe? Or sometimes, you may exist just across the street to someone else for years but still nvr got round to knowing the person. To some people, the word "fate" may seem ambiguous & capricious, but for me, I would say it makes perfect sense. Even luck plays a part. Like wat i heard in the news yesterday about The Lions winning 3-2 over the Thais, some people may call it luck, but thru this, they won anyway. Hence, be it fate or be it luck, it's very much part of us and our living. Be glad, thankful and appreciative. =)

For all the luck and fate you had though, they are still not totally dependable. So yx! Strike when the iron is hot! Go go go! Like wat I've always said! ;p

My manager told me this on Wednesday:

“Bonnie, 并不是叫你完全依赖一个人。而是有时候，适当的靠着别人是必要的。”

This translates to: Sometimes, we all just need a little support from one another. It is normal and it is essential. Have a little faith and trust to seek help. This does not in any way compromise your state of independence.

Fear. Scripting when young. More fear and unknowns still. Someone once asked me, "Is it possible to fall even when you've arrived?" I told her, "Yes."

However, you can choose to unlearn what you have learnt. And you can choose to restart all over again. If you have failed, it does not mean an end. It only means you have temporary stop succeeding. 你只是暂时停止成功罢了。

I'm still on my own unique journey =)

I Am David

I am gonna start from rock pit bottom


all over again.