有缘千里来相会。

Forgive me mei for using mandarin yet again to express myself. I was born into a Chinese-educated family and i used to peer over my mum's shoulder asking her all the unknown Chinese characters i saw on the newspaper she's reading, used to also sit all day at home catching every possible Chinese drama on the then SBC channel 8 during primary school days (it actually helps improve your command of language be it mandarin or english!), hence to express myself in mandarin at times is a natural, makes me feel more validated cos chinese words come across as 较为含蓄 (when phrased in the right way)，yet at the same time 不失其意。Very me lor~ haha...

And btw, gluten shen mo shen is a deliberate mis-spelling on mah part. So that you know it's me mah! Who else like to eat gluten this muchie?

Penguin, tk you very much for your patience & ustanding. I feel validated. & tks for the episode whereby u took time off fr ya studying. I didnt know u had exams the next day :o Am so touched! You know, sometimes in life, a little means so much! It meant a lot to me as i've told you what it had done for me when i was depressed. It was my outlet then. I know most people out there who's not into it wldnt hv care less to bother to hv a look at all.

Recently, been treating this book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey like a bible. The above event with penguin reminds me of this excerpt where the author dealt with a certain particular difference he found hard to swallow in his wife:~

Another of those difficult times had to do with what I perceived to be a
"hang up" Sandra had which bothered me for years. She seemed to have an
obsession about Frigidaire appliances which I was at an absolute loss to
understand. She would not even consider buying another brand of appliance. Even
when we were just starting out and on a very tight budget, she insisted that we
drive fifty miles to the "big city" where Frigidaire appliances were sold,
simply because no dealer in our small university town carried them at that time.

This was a matter of considerable agitation to me. Fortunately, the
situation came up only when we purchased an appliance. But when it did come up,
it was like a stimulus that triggered off a hot button response. This single
issue seemed to be symbolic of all irrational thinking, and it generated a whole
range of negative feelings within me.

I usually resorted to my
dysfunctional private behavior. I supposed I figured that the only way I could
deal with it was not to deal with it; otherwise, I felt I would lose control and
say things i shouldn't say. There were times when I did slip and say something
negative, and i had to go back and apologise.

What bothered me the most
was not that she like Frigidaire, but that she persisted in making what I
considered utterly illogical and indefensible statements to defend Frigidaire
which had no basis in fact whatsoever. If she had only agreed that her response
was irrational and purely emotional, I think I could have handled it. but her
justification was upsetting.

It was sometime in early spring when the
Frigidaire issue came up. All our prior communication had prepared us. The
ground rules had been deeply established - not to probe and to leave it alone if
it got to be too painful for either or both.

I will never forget the day we talked it through. Sandra and I were amazed at what we learnt through the interaction.

She started to talk about her father, about how he had
worked as a high school history teacher and coach for years, and how, to help
make ends meet, he had gone into the appliance business. During an economic
downturn, he had experienced serious financial difficulties, and the only thing
that enabled him to stay in business during that time was the fact that
Frigidaire would finance his inventory.

Sandra had an unusually deep and
sweet relationship with her father. When he returned home at the end of a very
tiring day, he would lie on the couch, and Sandra would rub his feet and sing to
him. It was a beautiful time they enjoyed together almost daily for years. He
would also open up and talk through his worries and concerns about the business,
and he shared with Sandra his deep appreciation for Frigidaire financing his
inventory so that he could make it through the difficult times.

This
communication between father and daughter had taken place in a spontaneous way
during very natural times, when the most powerful kind of scripting takes place.
During those relaxed times guards are down and all kinds of images and thoughts
are planted deep in the subconscious mind. Perhaps Sandra had forgotten about
all of this until the safety of that year of communication when it could come
out also in very natural and spontaneous ways.

Sandra gained tremendous insight into herself and into the emotional root
of her feelings about Frigidaire. I also gained insight and a whole new level of
respect. I came to realize that Sandra wasn't talking about appliances; she
was talking about her father, and about loyalty - about loyalty to his
needs.

Likewise mei, I believe there are certain tender issues you've been thru. So had I. That we're able to connect in spite of our age gap must hv been the things we went thru before. Y did I only had you as a sis and no others before? This is what i meant by my title “有缘千里来相会”。缘 or otherwise known as fate in English, is what brings people together. What else can explain why people come into contact with certain ppl and not others on the other side of the globe? Or sometimes, you may exist just across the street to someone else for years but still nvr got round to knowing the person. To some people, the word "fate" may seem ambiguous & capricious, but for me, I would say it makes perfect sense. Even luck plays a part. Like wat i heard in the news yesterday about The Lions winning 3-2 over the Thais, some people may call it luck, but thru this, they won anyway. Hence, be it fate or be it luck, it's very much part of us and our living. Be glad, thankful and appreciative. =)

For all the luck and fate you had though, they are still not totally dependable. So yx! Strike when the iron is hot! Go go go! Like wat I've always said! ;p

My manager told me this on Wednesday:

“Bonnie, 并不是叫你完全依赖一个人。而是有时候，适当的靠着别人是必要的。”

This translates to: Sometimes, we all just need a little support from one another. It is normal and it is essential. Have a little faith and trust to seek help. This does not in any way compromise your state of independence.

Fear. Scripting when young. More fear and unknowns still. Someone once asked me, "Is it possible to fall even when you've arrived?" I told her, "Yes."

However, you can choose to unlearn what you have learnt. And you can choose to restart all over again. If you have failed, it does not mean an end. It only means you have temporary stop succeeding. 你只是暂时停止成功罢了。

I'm still on my own unique journey =)