Disparity? Not!?

罗曼斯

Finally, the ans to a question I've always held since young got enlightened thru a drama I saw on Sunday. It's a repeat telecast actually and this is the 2nd time i've seen it. It was the 1st episode.

Let me reiterate: No matter which stage i am at, i'm continuously learning.

I bet this goes on the same for everyone else too! Perhaps either at a conscious or a less conscious level.

This was the promise made to myself last year: that NO MATTER which stage i am at, i'm lovable & DESERVE to be LOVED.

Hence, i'm still seeking out for love :)

Hmm... so what new insights did i get out of this drama?

Turning back to a time when i was much younger at abt 15 perhaps, i had wondered what is love truly? Y isn't there more logic to hv a love relationship between siblings? Afterall, we're related by blood. Isn't there more reasons to develop a closer relationship? Nah... dun get me wrong. I wasn't into incest. Just an usual “wondering” me. A lot of things happened then & i was wondering if i wld ever get attached at all & y shd i when i dun even see much love & efforts within my nucleus family.

Then when i met my ex, he was a good 7 yrs older than me. It had nvr occurred to me that i wld fall in love with someone much older. My ideal was (I hv imagined a thousand times to myself before) a partner not more than 2 yrs older or younger than me. Then again, ideals are ideals; reality cld be so much different & perhaps even better. Haha... so the above drama esp. towards the very end whereby the 2 had shock over ea other's age & were relunctant to reveal their true occupations, really reminded me of our shock over at our differences then. I was 17 then and he was 24. When we 1st met, he tot i was at least a 20 & i tot he looked 15. Nah... it wasnt love at 1st sight (at least for me). I got to know him more over telephone conversations and started to like him. It had never occurred to me to ask him for his age initially while we were hitting off so well. And then i discovered that he smoke. I had nvr good impression of smokers mainly due to my dad. Then again, thru our conversation in bid to connect & understand ea other, this point seems to pale in the background as well...

Well... so much so abt my ex. We had been together for 7 yrs. It's long over by now. I had a lot of lessons to learn & am still learning. After we broke, there was a period of abt 6 months straight that i was totally alone by myself. Then i dated and had a few close brush wif r/s. I almost started one but it failed. And funnily, i learnt a lot fr this failed r/s i had tried to initiate myself FOR THE 1ST TIME! Yup, for the 1st time, 我失恋了。:)

Hehe... yup. I'm still smiling. Am still smiling though. I mean, what's wrong with smiling and does a failed r/s strip me of my rights to smile? A chat wif an online friend I had known for the 1st time & wld prolly nvr chat again reaffirmed my belief. He said out of nowhere, "Smile when ur happy, smile when ur down. If there's anything you can at least do, smile" Yup. So right. And so me. ^_^

And this point in one of my blog entries connects to the above as well:

I've learned - That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people
who don't even know you.

Thank you, my stranger friend, for this affirmation of myself. =)

My mei, ho! She's another angel god-sent. Coincidentally, (she has no idea, but now u do lil mdm! (: ) she said: "Jie, do u know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile?"

Yeah, i do. 14 muscles to smile & 72 muscles to frown. Aint i right? Not that it isnt good to train muscles, but it's the wrong muscles to train at all.

So what is it that I had learnt abt love now?

1) It is just so that we are not related by blood that it is miraculous to love someone unrelated to u in the 1st place. That makes u wanna understand that special one, to love & to care for him/her.

2) Sometimes, issues like age, height, occupations & backgrounds are not the most impt factors. True love speaks of willingness to go the extra mile, baring of souls. Ego & misunderstandings in between are its nemeses. To quote Stephen Covey in his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" : Love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb.

3) And if Love is a verb, what does it all mean? Action! Yes, it means action! To quote the meaning of "verb" in dictionary.com: a content word that denotes an action or a state.

So, if you really love somebody and hopes to be reciprocated, do something abt it! Even if the person has no interest in you, make up your mind whether u wld still continue loving the person or not & what u plan to do abt it. Just DO something!

4) Alright, besides COMMUNICATION, which i feel is very impt in a r/s, being touched by gestures sure helps kick-start the love r/s. A little chemistry wldnt hurt... hmm...

Other quotes abt love i hv read abt:

Mere attraction cannot make a relationship last. But it needs to occur first.

It's (r/s) about compromising with one another, coupled with how much
love both parties have for each other. Respect and support is essential. That is
really love, not attraction.

Love is when you can already see the flaws of the person, and accept it as part and parcel of him...and you know that his goodness outweighs the flaws.

And finally:

I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am
with you

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Other note-worthy quotes I've came by (haha.. like wat mei's said, it's so random of me!):

"It's very depressing to live in a time where it's easier to break an atom than a prejudice."
- Albert Einstein

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
- Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)

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