Tissue Seller on 年初二

Bishan:

A typical tissue seller stationed near the entrance of the mrt station cried away, saying to hv pity on the poor old lady on a new year's day! To buy some tissue fr her!
“新年快乐！恭喜发财！可怜我这个老人家，跟我买包tissue吧！” she rambled over & over in a shrilling pitch.

She was shouting so loud that i felt embarrassed to go near her. To say truth, i had actually wanted to get tissue fr her as i was heading towards her, but her yelling made me bypass her without looking her directly in the eyes. I walked on like a typical passer-by till i parrallelled the convenient store CHEERS.

Then i tot, what the heck? If i wanna help her, be it she's crying out loud or wat, does it matter? Y shd i bother abt how other ppl will look at me when it is she that i wanna help?

I opened my purse. I only had a $5 and a $50 note. No $2 note.

So i made a 180 degrees turn and headed over to the lady. I told her, “我要买tissue” and handed her my $5 note. She passed to me the 4 packets of tissue bundled up together with a rubber band. I took the tissue and walked away.

“要找钱吗？”she shouted after my back.

“不用紧。”I told her, and then continued to walk away.

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Indeed, as described in this book "Awakening a Kind Heart" that i got fr bright hill temple, by Venerable Sangye Khadro, it is not easy to let go of our attachment to reputation:

In most cases of being criticized, our response arises from our attachment to reputation - wanting others to like and respect us. According to the Tibetan masters, this is one of the most difficult attachments to let go of.

There is a story from the tibetan tradition about the Kadampa Geshe Langri Tangpa, author of the Eight Verses, that illustrates how a spiritually mature person is free from such concerns.

Once, a woman who had given birth to a sickly child was told by an
astrologer that in order to save the child's life, she must take it to a
spiritual master and claim it was his. So she brought the child to Langri
Tangpa, who happened to be in the middle of giving a Dharma discourse to a large
number of disciples, and put it on his lap saying: "This is yours."

The Geshe happily accepted the infant and said: "For all my lives you have
been my child."

Seeing this, half of the disciples lost faith in their teacher and walked
out. But Langri Tangpa continued to teach. At the end of the discourse, the
mother presented the Geshe with offerings and apologised to him for what she had
done, explaining that she had been advised to do it in order to save the child's
life. Langri Tangpa calmly handed back the child.

He had maintained equanimity throughout this whole incident, and half of
the disciples who had not walked out experienced even greater faith in their
master.

Langri Tangpa was able to remain calm in this situation because he knew
that he was innocent of any wrong-doing, and because he was not attached to what
others thought of him. He was not concerned about being the '"victor". If we are willing to look honestly at our mind and work on
diminishing our attachment to reputation and praise, then we will also learn to
remain calm in the face of criticism and blame.