Rashes。过敏

Been spotting rashes all over my body lately. All over my thighs, arms, elbows and stomach (*gasp*). My skin's been irritated, so I've been scratching.

Looks horrible I guess (if I wear short skirt that is). I think had I met people who do not know me well on the streets, they might think that it's some kind of a sexual disease symptom, haha.

Oh, but it will pass. I know because I've been through other similar phases in my life e.g. 10 years ago when I had acnes popping all over my forehead as rampant as active erupting volcanoes. And nope, it wasn't due to my teen's period of active hormonal glands, because I've been lucky to have somewhat clear skin with occasional one or two acnes emerging on my face during my teens. It was because of something else for which I'm not going into details here. Sometimes, it's due to environment, sometimes it's due to stress, sometimes it's due to fatigue or sometimes all three. Overall, I guess, for all that I've been subjected through, I was rather lucky that it didn't show much on my body physically. Not even when I had chicken pox.

Sometimes, I miss my mother. (LOL! I know this is like so random, a jolt from the flow of my post here!) Actually, let the truth be known, she wasn't exactly very 温柔... well you know, when she was still healthy. In fact, she's rather 凶巴巴的。And even that 凶巴巴 and emotionally aloof 的 mummy is gone, for so many years, I'm quite alone.

Like I've mentioned in some of my secret posts and other random sites which my friends do not know of, I desire to cry in the arms of someone to let out all my frustrations and hurt. However, as much as I had indicated this wish from time to time, I am not someone who can just throw myself into the arms of anyone to do that.

所以，很辛苦。Maybe, that's why it's starting to show up physically on my body, in the form of rashes. LOL! (well, there's actually a more logical & lame explanation for my rashes but well...)

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Listening to:

杨丞琳 ~过敏

你消失的一百天
我没了笑脸 怕别人看见
我敏感的神经线
一点一点 没知觉

泛红双眼 不成眠
它跟着我一整夜
麻痹的脸 特效药也 无解

才发现 我正搁浅在爱情过敏的季节
oh过敏源 是对你的思念

我想我才了解
我正停格在爱情过敏的季节
季节没改变 是想念 没断线

我想我才发现
感情尘蹒已布满了我的世界
oh过敏源 是为你流的泪
我想我才了解
就算用尽了力气 也未必如愿
季节没改变 是眼泪 弄湿脸

季节一直变
但我的心 没有变

你消失的一百天
我没了笑脸 没知觉

a bit of green

i bought fertilizer for my only plant in the house.

i wonder how long can it thrive under my care and what's the average life span of this plant?

Acceptance

Today, I wanna quote 2 extracts from a particular book. I had actually already blogged them down some time back in some private postings, but I really hope to share what I have learnt with people who care to read my blog :)

From the book, THE ART OF getting along with People by Cecil G. Osborne, D.D:

Gertrude, the youngest of six children, and at thirty-nine still unmarried, had chosen to take care of her aging mother. The other sons and daughters were married and had children of their own, so it seemed the logical thing for her to do. But at forty-one Gertrude decided to marry, Mother, now in poor health and quite elderly, felt threatened by the turn of events. She began to complain of vague but persistent ailments.

Gertrude appealed to her brothers and sisters, asking if they would mind taking mother for at least a few months. They replied with various excuses: they were short of rooms; there were financial problems; Gertrude had no children as yet and was best able to take care for mother. The discussion went on for weeks, in person and by mail. Gertrude’s brothers and sisters presented a united front: it was her responsibility because she was the youngest and had no children.

Gertrude buried her resentment and went on with the wedding plans. Mother refused to attend the wedding, insisting that she was not feeling well. Two sisters attended the wedding, chiefly because they had been asked to be bridesmaids. Relationships were strained.

Gertrude, her mother, and her new husband, Jack, settled down together in a small house, and for a time mother made a fairly valiant effort to be civil. But within a month, she grew critical and began retiring to her room immediately after dinner. She also ate her other meals in her room. Jack began to feel uncomfortable, and Gertrude was becoming depressed from trying to bury her anger.

Jack eventually suggested gently that she call a family conference to see what could be done. Four of her brothers and sisters, and their spouses, elected not to attend. Gertrude then announced that she intended to put her mother in a retirement home.

There was instant recrimination from everyone: “How can you do this to our mother? She’d die in a month in one of those places. After all she’s done for you! Of course, we can’t take her, for reasons you clearly understand; but you, with no children, surely ought to be able to take care of her until the end. . . ” and on and on and on.

Gertrude began to feel guilt on top of her buried anger. Increasingly depressed, she sought counseling.

After hearing the story, the counselor asked, “What are your options?” She could think of none. He pointed out several.

She could let the situation remain as it was and live in her depressed state. Under those circumstances, there was always the possibility that her husband might lose interest and leave her.

Or she could try to reason with her brothers and sisters. “No, that’s out,” she explained. “They’re hopeless. I want nothing to do with them.”

The third alternative was putting her mother in a retirement home. “But they’ll all hate me,” objected Gertrude.

“Do they love you now?”

“They say they do but –”

“But what?”

“They don’t act like it.”

”What do you want: peace of mind and a viable solution, or to hang on to the illusion that your brothers and sisters really care about you?”

The session lasted for another half-hour. Gertrude finally elected to put her mother in a retirement home.

When her mother heard the news, she protested that she wasn’t going. Brothers and sisters and their mates protested that she couldn’t do this to their mother. But Gertrude was adamant.

Mother was put in a retirement home. In a few months, she was feeling much better, running the recreation program and giving devotionals for the women’s Bible class with sufficient energy left over to make life fairly miserable for the staff. When told that she would have to stop stirring things up with her gossip and complaints or leave, she became quite tractable and began to enjoy her new life.

Gertrude and Jack still have impaired relations with her brothers and sisters. But she has learned that it is their problem. She came to see that their resentment stemmed chiefly from their own guilt.

There may never be a happy solution for these impaired relationships. Gertrude treats her siblings politely, refuses to argue, and sends Christmas cards annually. She says, “You can pick your friends, but you inherit your relatives. The door is open if they ever want to make gestures of reconciliation. If they do, it would be wonderful. If not, it isn’t fatal. I am happy in my marriage, and life is good.”

It would be nice if there could always be a happy ending to every story, as in the books and movies. But life isn’t like that. Sometimes there is no perfect solution , and we have to do the best we can and be satisfied with that.

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When Rational Judgment Is Difficult

Sometimes a person can become so beaten down as to be incapable of making a rational decision.

A young mother whose husband had died reported to me that her husband’s parents had been verbally abusive to her children. The mother was planning to take the children to another state, where she had the promise of a job. Fearful of losing touch with her grandchildren, the grandmother said to one of them, “If you move there, you’ll be dead in six months.” The little boy was terrified and asked, “Mommy, is that true? Will I die?”

There were many other instances of emotional instability on the part of both grandparents. The mother, accordingly, told them that they could not visit her children so long as they were verbally threatening or abusive.

I said, “Under the circumstances you have stated, you were quite within your rights.”

She said, “Oh, thank you! Everyone I’ve talked to has insisted that I am morally bound to let the children visit their grandparents.”

Advice from friends, relatives, and neighbors can confuse an otherwise intelligent person so that he or she loses the capacity for rational judgment.

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Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love. ~ Marc Chagall

Gender Equality

As I get older, I am beginning to suspect that there's no such thing such as "Gender Equality".

Leaving the issue of workplace aside ('cause I still believe one should earn as much as the result one achieves, even though statistics between the two genders show otherwise), men and women think, feel, behave and even experience biologically differently.

I am beginning to think that there IS a reason why women (especially in the past centuries) are treated as the fairer sex. To be honoured, valued and treated gently. And I am beginning to see how this "Gender Equality" as much as many women are fighting for it, gets twisted, misinterpreted and instead, do the women in as well as helping them achieve the rights they need (especially in the case of abused women).

First up, let's just acknowledge that a man is not a woman, and a woman can never be a man (let's leave out the exception of hermaphrodites and some other rare cases).

A woman is able to experience pregnancy, or even if she chooses not to be impregnated, she is still subjected to the monthly (sometimes irregular at that) menstrual cycle, which in turn causes her to be more emotional due to the hormonal fluctuation. Let's also remember the (varying) discomfort she goes through during this phase. Her skin is also more sensitive to the sense of touch as compared to that of a man's, because men are evolved hunters from the past and a man's rough skin helps him weather the hunt. This explains why when a woman is angry with a man, she retracts from a man's touch by saying, "Don't touch me!" because she is more highly in tune with her sense of touch (I think therefore, all that sensation gets interpreted in her brain far more quickly and deeply, alongside with the positive or negative experience that connotes it. Can't remember exactly what was written in that article I read before, but something to this effect.)

Physically, may we say that it is safe to assume men are generally stronger than women?

I'm rather pissed actually at times when I see gender put-downs on forums. To my understanding today, it's not about who "win or lose". Let's just put it this way. Imagine a day comes when all members of the opposite sex disappear off the surface of earth. Can you imagine life without them? Even if you have very good same sex buddies to hang around with, can you imagine facing them ONLY day in and day out?

As to this so call issue "women, the fairer sex", I must admit several years back when I was still a teen, I used to feel very embarrassed when relatives or loved ones dare suggest a gender-stereotypical occupation I should take on in future, and to allow someone to "take care" of me. How dare they look down on me, a girl!? In my mind, I wanted to achieve more, to prove that I can be more independent and stronger than the submissive women of the past, more so than with the intention and actual idea what I truly want for myself at all, "thanks" to the media of the 80s, 90s and even as of now, portraying women as some self-sufficient creatures. I think many women, as well as men are affected by this, embracing this "Gender Equality" idea. More and more women now feel ashamed and appalled at the idea of being a stay-home mum (when they have the freedom to pursue high-flying career), and even if they do not feel so initially, perhaps they do later on by the influence of their peers. And because of this "Gender Equality" notion, guys are also behaving in a more and more ungentlemanly fashion, reasoning that why should they bother to do stuff for the ladies that ladies can easily do so for themselves (a notion also perpetuate by some women themselves because they feel "insulted" to be offered help too, even when it would actually be a welcome break for them). The men as a result, are not very ideal husbands, one that would give the support a wife needs. Thus, the social etiquette of "ladies and gentlemen" ceased, and in place, some "Gender Equality" appropriate measures that leave neither gender truly satisfied.

Are we moving towards an asexual humanity? If not, I think it pays to recognize what each gender really needs, instead of just crediting everything in the name of "Gender Equality" out of convenience and denial.

Men and women ARE different. And nope, not in a condescending way. Let us all give more due respect to each other, kay?

受持读诵、为人演说。

I came by this forum on SgForums call "[--] SEA OF AFFINITY )=l" and chanced upon the below video. Though I am essentially an ignostic, I do find what the monk said to be very valid in what I am believing deeply today - education. Though I would like to watch all videos under this series in Youtube, I guess highlighting what he said that affirmed my belief would do for today.

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佛說十善業道經49-5


“什么人得利益呢？”
“用中国话来讲，好学的人得利益。所以好学，是我们这一生成败的关键。”
“哪一个人好学，哪一个人就得利益。”
“得利益多少是在他好学成份之多寡。”
“他十分的好学，他得十分利益。他三分的好学，他只得三分利益。”

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"Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame." ~Thomas à Kempis