WANT(20%) or NEED (80%)..?

Just read this somewhere:

Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what
you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your
relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will
meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your
relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you
are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80%
that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with
the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with
having the 20% that you WANT and losing the 80% that you really NEED and
that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow,
this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider
features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also
understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more
charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have
greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you
and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have
80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or
wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by
nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no
matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of
garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales
representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high
heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who
has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the
years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered
together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The
many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already
have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through
the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? 'They
have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow,
their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!'

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life
like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know
that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first
class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you
are first class!

疑问句

我有一个我从没见过、也没什么沟通的 friendster 网友，长得很像梁咏琪般漂亮，不，我觉得甚至比她还美！从她百多张的照片来看，她似乎不是很高，但我想却是男生喜欢的娇小型。据她的 status 来看是已婚。年纪跟我好像不相上下（虽然网上人们所放的年纪不能完全相信，但她看来颇年轻的，所以可信。）她，拍了好多张好多张的照片。两个孩子都好像挺大了。一男一女。女的看来也有七或八岁，男的看来也起码五岁。孩子被称作公主与王子，也替他们拍了好多、好多张的美丽照片。照片里的父亲虽然称不上是绝世帅哥，但看来也挺年轻摩登的，和我这网友还算蛮登对的。从照片里，看来她过得还相当富裕的。还有一群朋友姐妹们做伴。两个孩子，在她妈妈生日时，在婆婆脸上送香吻，照片还有这温馨的一面。漂亮的脸孔，不愁吃穿的生活，漂亮可爱的孩子，登对的夫君，一大群朋友和和蔼的同事，到底这位美丽的公主还欠缺什么呢？

可惜，我在她的 shoutout box 里看到她这么的写着："All Men Are Born Liars"

想必，猜也猜得到她多么的不快乐。

虽然我不懂她，也不太认识她，我所得到的结论是 - Never judge a book by its cover, what you may not see runs deeper.

其实，有些人并不如你所想象的那么值得 envy。

话又说回来了，让我看到了那么一个景象，又让我对婚姻有着更加大的恐惧和反感。撇开驳论什么法律妇女篇章会维护女人还是什么的，花在一段婚姻的青春和心思，一段失败的感情和婚姻的煎熬，又何止一个妇女篇章的保护所能抵消的呢！！

我不是没有接触过男生，但近年来，我不断地在思考到底什么是爱？偏偏，我又是一个对感情后知后觉的人，要等到整件事沉淀了过后，才发觉自己的心情。我一直在想，要怎样才能放心去爱一个人？还是，果真让我有那么点心动的人，都是不可靠的人？

我讨厌说谎的人，更加厌恶不真诚的人。有时，不知是我的雷达太过敏锐还是我其实应该给与更多的通融，但只要我察觉到那一点的不在乎和理所当然，我便开始感到反感。或许，时机未到。又或许，需要更进一步的沟通与接触才能下定论。

想念多过一个人是正常吧？没有什么约定，更别说是八字一瞥什么的。最糟糕的是，心里都还没有想过去结交或认识很多很多的男生，that's why 我的 status 还只是 Looking for friendship，而没有 dating 这一项。我可没有那个思绪去应对每一个阿猫阿狗的邀请函啊！起码暂时没有。我不像我一个女友，在有一次的情人节当中，竟然在她的 blog 上注明了公司的地址，说有心送花的人，请寄到此地址让她签收！而她果真收到了许多束花！天啊，这完全不是我的作风！我没有办法让我没有兴趣的人白费功夫的！最起码，我尽量婉拒。Unless he insist。这年头，很多男生把追女生的精力与开销当做 ROI。当得不到女生时，便开始怨言不绝。天啊！这也算爱吗？

但我也不会去拒绝会面我感觉还不错的男生和没见过的人。唉……如果所谓的“爱”会来，我想就会来吧？感觉对了，就去追。确定了，才下定论。不清楚的，渐渐搞懂。不是吗？

以上全部的，都是我的谜团。