doubts

I am starting to lose confidence in deciphering for myself.

Maybe it's because I've always been alone in thoughts and have always been making my own decisions since young. I realized I couldn't do it all by myself and actually felt ashamed when I'm tired and worn out. Because the only thing that has been sustaining me through my past years is my PRIDE in the ability to be independent. That instead of asking for help which I've been no good at all along, I find it easier to do everything by myself as I do not have to adhere to anyone's schedule or risk being rejected.

Over the years, I also realized the hefty consequences I have to pay in being too easy-going sometimes. I am a generous, loving person by nature and I still do not want to change that, however, I've learnt how to be more selective with the company that I keep.






I need to be more humble.

I need my friends.

七月歌台

yea... lol i know the seventh month is already over... but today.. or rather yesterday, is a bit like 在赶七月歌台 lor. Met up with 6 friends starting from noon time. 一赶就赶了六场... one to one, save the sixth meet-up, where i met my 6th friend together with my 5th friend..

我想，如果是真的在赶七月歌台的话，我可就赚翻了。

Hickory Dickory Dock

Ever since my birthday this year, a slow gradual change has been sweeping over meh...

No, not my biological clock... haha... I'm way past that. Something else. A realization maybe.

Anyway, and so, I've been meeting up different friends of mine over the past weeks, talking to my friends, and then friends of friends.

So that friend of friend was saying, "She's leaving." A girl that he was into will be leaving for another country.

"Why don't you stopped her?"

"Nah. It's better this way."

And then my original friend said, "Sometimes it's better not knowing whether things ended or not."

Really?

All I know, if the guy was someone that I like, I'd like him to stop me or at least see me off at the airport. Maybe more could be said...??

Oh well *shrugs*. It's not as if I'm a pro at this. I sux at expressing myself to anyone whom I am starting to develop a liking for anyway. In the end, I think I am no better than that friend of friend.

Maybe in a while more's time, I'll be adding "Dating" to my "Looking For" status on facebook. Regardless of whoever I've been subconsciously developing an affinity for (my subconscious usually becomes apparent to me in the form of dreams), it is still not strong enough to throw out all my reservation. Therefore, I'm still open to all options =) My past experience of meeting people has taught me what to look out for in a mate. I'd still like to enjoy the process of being wooed though (many more guys out there still waiting to know me :P) I hadn't been totally open to this anyway (coz will need energy to handle all that attention ma...), been keeping a very, very low profile, and restraining myself. I think a flirtatious me would be very alluring... mmm... *cheeky* ;p

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Do Si Te 为什么
曲：小土反裕也 词：徐若瑄

(dousite - 为什么)? 最近你牵我的时候
心跳的感觉不见了 我的手指头这么说
ne~以前你看我的时候 认真的像只野兽
好像在告诉我 今~天晚上休想逃走
会一辈子绑住我 被你在乎的我好感动

(ima wa? – 日文“人家呢?”)

# (dousite - 为什么)? 去年在一起的时候
你为了我忘记朋友 说只要有我就足夠
Ne~现在你对我的要求 变得和当初不同
说想要更多自由~
你气我管你太多 我怪你陪我不夠
我被你冷落 #

* 怎么去面对热恋 慢慢冷却
虽然时间冲淡爱的新鲜
可是我爱你的心不变
要我们之间甜蜜聊天 再次出现
只要我们之间 保持爱彼此的心永远

repeat # *

轰轰烈烈 是刚开始都会有的甜味
陌生变了解 才算是爱的最高境界

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I love what you are, and what you do and how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength that carries you through. I’ve seen the best of you. I’ve seen the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. And I love you.
~ unknown