it's all making sense now

it's all sinking in... making sense... bit by bit... each time... every time... those times...


“你知道你现在是什么阶段吗？” 她对着我说。

我一直沉默不语。

“Loss。”
她特别强调这个字眼，用一种很特别的语调去刻意强调它。
“你知道什么是 loss 吗？”

“你失去了你唯一的精神支柱，你失去了原本以为的一个家，即使是你先放弃了他，你还是失去了他呀！”

感觉非笔墨所能形容。

“你没要求过什么，你只不过是想要一个人来好好的爱你而已。”

“你不甘心呀！”

It's all sinking in now..

“The person you loved never existed. It was an illusion created to manipulate you. If you still have feelings for him, they are feelings for what you wanted him to be, not for what he is.”

可怕。

"She tells herself she should be grateful to be out and negates her own feelings of loss. The end of a relationship always constitutes a loss whether he died or whether the relationship merely ended -- the heart recognizes it as the same -- which is 'loss.'"

原来。

So I need to properly... grieve? But how to properly grieve???

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